More tranny stories later!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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