Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
