u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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