Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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