If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i think i have two assholes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
