If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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