she was so not down for the gang bang
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
