I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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