I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Then you guys just all showered together...?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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