Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
