I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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