Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
