I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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