Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
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I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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