Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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