Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
