you guys were way drunker than both of me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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