oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
