I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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