don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
