There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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