I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
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as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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