no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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