Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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