My friends, they love my intelligence
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
