Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's even glitter on my cock...
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