naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
