I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
