I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
