Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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