What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
