does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize