Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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