It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
