Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
