Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she peed on how many people?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
