Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
