He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
