I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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