Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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