idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize