I am puke
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
