she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
