is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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