Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
