He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
