When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
