the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
