She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
