They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
