My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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