I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
