My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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