all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
