can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
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I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
third nipple confirmed
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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