One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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