Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I looked at my own cervix.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
