Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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