Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
