...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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